Posts tagged ‘tired’

brothels and donkeys: this is your job

mexico

This is Xi reading to Echo a 1985 tour guide of Mexico that she got from her Grandpa. She is able to read most of the subheadings because they come with an icon. But unfortunately I found myself having to explain, in the most six year old appropriate language that I could, what a brothel was. Seems there is a “sin section” of this particular guide. Anyway, I am glad I took the photo because looking back on the day, this was one of the precious few sane moments.

This was a typical exchange:

“COCO NO! NO COCO! NO COCO! NO! NAAAAAALLLLLLIE can you help us!!!!? Nallie, Echo is holding that stuffed animal and I want it to stay under the covers with the others!”

“Well you weren’t playing with it, so just like all the other toys in this room, it looks available.”

“I am playing with it. In fact I am ALWAYS playing with them. They’re just asleep.”

And I think to myself, oh great.

And Echo stood her own nonsensical ground. For example:

“MOM! I don’t want Xi to talk. NO XI! DON”T TALK!”

“She is going to talk Echo.”

“Why?”

“Because she is a human that lives in this house, and humans talk.”

“Are donkeys human?”

And I think to myself, ANYWAY…

My brain kept trying to keep up and make sense of their needs and wishes and boy was I faltering. There just was not much sanity to be found. On any given day this phenomenon would be challenging, but on this day it felt IMPOSSIBLE. I’d say to myself: “I throw in the towel!” And then I’d open my eyes and they were still there! Still making unreasonable requests, still needing me.

I know I shouldn’t be surprised. When parenting like this, with unconditional love, and empathy, everything hinges on the parent’s presence of mind, and the presence of your actual body. You must explain brothels in Mexico and why donkeys are not human. You hold, and soothe, and give, and feed, no matter what. You do this even when you are stressed about money, or when you’d really rather check email, or when your flock of children has gone insane. This is the job you want, and quitting is not an option.

But it is grueling. And what that means is we need support. We need fellow mamas that parent like we do, that will just nod their heads in understanding. We need partners that appreciate the tasks we accomplish each day, and that also know that if we did not accomplish any tasks, it is because we were engaged in more important concerns (like nursing, reading, and pretending). We need blogs like this one, and this one, to read late at night, so that we do not feel alone.

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October 23, 2009 at 6:00 am 7 comments

i feel… tired

IMG_0878

Even with every intention of keeping things simple, all that loving we’ve been receiving has worn us out.

2 grammas

2 great grammas

2 granpas

2 uncles

2 aunts

2 neighborhood girlfriends for xi

and more…

We’re not complaining, well actually I guess we are. Not about the showering of love, we want that, but about things kids complain about when choosing love showers over sleep. Like snacks not being quite right, ┬ásisters using the exact toy they were just about to use, finding missing shoes.

I can’t point fingers either. Today I pulled myself together enough to use the preferred phrasing: “I am feeling really frustrated.”

But then I added with great force: “BY YOU TWO!”

Oh well. I’ll try again. And again. And again.

September 29, 2009 at 11:11 pm Leave a comment


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