Posts tagged ‘questions’


Kris asked me how I’m doing today and I realized I’m doing pretty good. I feel light, and easily satisfied, and so very, very grateful, not only for my life but also for not feeling down, grey, blue, heavy. I am so tired of feeling that way.

Drawing a life map for myself shifted things around. My vision had grown tunneled, I wasn’t sure what I wanted, I just knew I didn’t have it. Laying it out, loud and clear, gave me something else to plug in when my mind began to wander the shadowy paths. I can feel areas of tension, they surround me and are very real. But when I lay in bed at night and start to fret over money, christmas gifts, the girls, (It’s the thing I do right when I am completely powerless to do anything to “solve” these issues),  I instead turn my mind-crank it really- toward the vision of what I want. I use the drawing as a cheat sheet and literally peruse it in my mind, envisioning these accomplishments and descriptions as real.

I have that map in mind now when I think about my day. If I want to do/be _______, then what do I need or want to do today? What leads me to that spot? I know that’s where I’m going so I want to start moving my feet. And that feels like living, really living, not glancing at the clock to see when Nathan is coming home, or when bedtime might be, or if it’s time to feed the dog. That feels better.

Looking back on today, the only thing I can think to grumble about is the number of “whys” coming out of Echo’s mouth.

Mama, what’s that sound?

That’s the turn signal on the car. It lets people know we are turning.


Well if cars know we are turning, then they can look out for us and we don’t crash into each other.


Cars don’t want to crash into each other.


Because people can get hurt, and the cars get kind of crushed up and don’t work as well.


Cars need to have all their parts just the way they are or they don’t work.



Torturous? Yes. But if that’s the worst part of my day, answering my sweet girl’s questions, though they be many, then I’m doing pretty good. Pretty good indeed.


December 2, 2009 at 5:00 am 3 comments

“tell the children the truth” – bob marley


Simple, neutral, and the truth.

Mom, what are you eating? Chocolate. Can I have some? No.Why not? Because you are just about to go to bed and chocolate has both caffeine and sugar in it, which make it harder for you to sleep, and your body needs that rest.

Mom, why are those ducks hanging on that fence? They are dead. Why? Because the person who lives here went into the woods and shot those ducks while they were flying into the sky. And then after they fell to the ground their dog probably went and got them and brought them back. Later today I think they will most likely chop the head off, pull out the guts, pluck all the feathers out, and have those ducks for dinner.

Where DO babies come from? The mama and the papa make them. How? The papa has the seed and the mama has the egg and together that grows into a baby.

(Thus far we haven’t had to answer the “how the seed gets together with the egg” part but if they asked and we didn’t think they were ready, which we don’t, it would go something like this…) but HOW does the seed get into the mama? Well that part is pretty simple but I would rather tell you about it later. Why? Because there is a lot of other stuff sort of wrapped around that information, and if you aren’t ready for the extra “stuff” then the explanation I give you might be confusing. Huh? I know. I usually tell you everything so this must be frustrating for you. Yah. How old do I have to be before you tell me? I’m not sure. Let’s just see how it goes. Maybe 10?

Why does my Webkinz (virtual pet) “die” after a year? Because they want you to have to buy another one. Why? To make money. Why? That’s what businesses do. If your Webkinz lived forever then you wouldn’t need to buy another one and then that company wouldn’t make as much money.

Nallie, after you help me fall asleep do you just go right to your bed and go to sleep there? No. Huh? I stay up several hours later. Doing Feeleez work on the computer and/or watching a movie with Papa. No fair! Yah, it doesn’t seem fair does it. As you get older your body needs less sleep, so I go to bed after you and wake up at the same time as you. Like after midnight? Ya. Sometimes PAST midnight. Woah!

Mama, what’s that? It’s called a cigarette butt. What’s that? Well right now it’s trash. Somebody lit a cigarette on fire, smoked it, and then threw that part on the ground. Can I touch it? I’d REALLY rather you not. Why? Mostly because I don’t like the smell. Cigarette butts have a very strong smell and if you touch it your fingers will smell that way too.

November 8, 2009 at 5:00 am 6 comments

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