Posts tagged ‘“me” time’

me time

Nathan took the girls on a date today. They went downtown to the carousel and to Butterfly Herbs. This isn’t unusual, our little ladies love to accompany Papa on excursions, and when they depart I ordinarily do mundane things, like clean the house, walk the dog, and work. But today was different because we planned this outing a week in advance with the idea that I could have a couple hours to do other things if I so desired.

I walked Henry in the sun, practiced yoga, and took a shower.

Ok, I walk Henry every day, and I take showers too, (at least every now and then), so we certainly didn’t need to plan ahead for those things to happen, but an hour of yoga sure is difficult to squeeze into a typical day. And to be fair, the shower wasn’t my usual type either. I actually pumiced my feet, and it was the middle of the day (not after midnight), and I didn’t have to hurry through the drying off process in order to scurry to the bedroom to help Echo get back to sleep. In fact, the girls came home and helped me trim my toenails and push my cuticles around. It was fun. All of it was fun.

But here is the thing. People like to call this kind of mama focused time “self-care”, and they generally advocate that ALL mothers SHOULD take time out for self-care, that it is SUPER important to take time away from the children to replenish oneself so that you are a satisfied human being and even a better mother.  And if you don’t do this, you are somehow either wrong or fooling yourself. I think this is bullshit.

It sounds almost martyr-like, but there is nothing more self-caring in my life than tending to our girls. It is almost entirely self-serving. Sometimes I tell myself that it is in the best interest of the children, that attachment parenting raises independent, intelligent, successful adults, and though this is true, it is not why I do it. I do it for myself. It feels good. And though it is uncommon, or even blasphemous to say so, I don’t actually want too much of a break. Perhaps as a novelty, or an odd treat, but certainly not as a necessity, not as the only way to restore myself to health or sanity.

Don’t get me wrong, I certainly did enjoy myself today. But I want to be careful what stories I tell. Am I really suffering because I don’t get to attend a yoga class five times a week? Am I really suffering because I don’t get enough “me time”?  No.  It’s true I don’t go to a yoga class five times a week and I’m not sure you could call any of my time “me time”, but I am not suffering, I am thriving.

In ten short years I will be begging my children to pile on top of me, play with me, and occupy all of my space and time. It won’t be long before they are gone and I have nothing but time to fill, and start taking long showers just to pass the time. There will come a time when I am, like my own grandmother, alone in my living room waiting for it to be late enough to go to bed.

But tonight I am not alone. I am freshly groomed, washed, and wishing the clock would move a bit more slowly instead. Tomorrow I will carry on a more typical day filled entirely with fairy pretend and nursing, and though a reprieve from these feisty children is not in store, I am certain that I will feel just as loved, and just as cared for … only in a different way.


January 29, 2010 at 12:19 am 9 comments

you snooze, i lose…?


Today, drum roll please…. Echo took a nap. I present this with fanfare because she NEVER takes a nap. Even as a little baby she’d sleep in thirty minute stretches if I was holding her, and if I was upright, and if I was moving. If I sat down on a moving swing? Nothing doing. If I swayed back and forth while standing and while holding? Nothing doing. So, what this means is that my entire non-Echo-centric world is squeezed into the hours of the night that she sleeps. All Feeleez related work, all blogging, all adult conversations with Nathan, all non G-rated movies, all chocolate eating, all showering… you get the picture.

So she took a nap, which means she’ll be up later, which means that if I am going to get any sleep at all I need to do at least a couple of the above activities NOW. So as I type, she is chirping happily, playing legos with Papa, asking questions, moving tiny playmobile figurines, and keeping up a constant dialog of make believe.

i love a giiiiirl! I love uh uh uh uh! and she was with her nana last year and her nana said so good to see you! and it is so good. and here is their barn. and the house needs a chipmunk. and the chipmunks died. and that’s how it goes when you borrow it. and the blue and the orange. and dark blue! put it on. this is called razzleberry dazzleberry. and this is for papa. no papa! it’s not ice cream it’s a chipmunk! and here is for you mama! it’s a good dipper bug.

With this background music, I’m having trouble concentrating. I don’t think a coherent post is in the cards this evening. “Good dipper bugs”, aka lego towers, are being delivered to my lap as I type. I’m tempted to say isn’t this the life? in a sarcastic tone, but really, isn’t this the life?

November 11, 2009 at 5:00 am Leave a comment

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