Posts tagged ‘feelings and needs’

patient

patient

Is absent a feeling?

Is blank?

Well in any case that’s how I’ve been feeling today. Just, sort of, not there. Which, of course, is a really difficult place to parent from, and almost an impossible place to parent well from. But I was trying. Trying but not really succeeding. And the girls were having an evening where they did everything BUT play quietly by themselves. Seems the more I yearned to float away into the glow of the ceiling light, the more they wanted me to not just see them but PLAY in the most involved and interactive way.

I was just about to lose it and declare that I just did not feel like playing, which I hate to do, seems like the most buzzkill thing a parent can say, and usually doesn’t work, when I was SAVED by a little game called “Patient”. Ah yes. The game where I lay there and get tended to by the sweetest doctors in town. A game that tonight met all needs, my need to be less interactive and their needs for connection and time near and on my body.

They twittered, chattered, soothed, twiddled with instruments, patted my cheek, and I took deep breaths and felt myself finally land on the ground, finally enter this space where the rest of my family was waiting for me. I was diagnosed with a hole in my heart, a bleeding heart, and an allergy in my ear. Though these were dire prognostications I still hoped they’d find more things wrong with me, more grave ailments so that their sweet murmurs and tender ministrations would never end.

No longer blank. Not sure what I am feeling, but definitely not blank.

October 8, 2009 at 6:22 am 2 comments

What is he feeling?

_mg_9078

What is he feeling, do you suppose? And then, what do you think he needs?

Be curious. If we could be curious with every single person we meet, without judgment or labels…imagine.

January 27, 2009 at 4:31 am Leave a comment

feelings and needs

Sweet little Echo today used the Feeleez in a whole new way! She looked at one of the sad Feeleez and said that she needed a hug, then pointed to the hugging Feeleez and put the two together.

To take the learning further than simply identifying feelings with your child, you can ask them what is the need. Needs are universal: safety, nutrition, play, movement, connection, meaning, contribution….

EVERY BEHAVIOUR IS AN ATTEMPT TO MEET A NEED.

January 22, 2009 at 5:04 am Leave a comment


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