how to catch a hamster

July 7, 2010 at 8:41 am 1 comment

1. Wander across the yard to Romy’s house to say hi after returning home from our trip.

2. Cootchy koo at the baby.

3. Wander casually over to our hamster cage to see how she fared while we were away.

4. Scan the enclosure and fail to see a furry lump.

5. Mention out loud that the hamster doesn’t appear to be within.

6. Crowd around as a group, momentarily thinking that perhaps suddenly she is very small and hiding under the scrap of tissue paper.

7. Notice the little yellow lid on top is open.

8. Giggle as Romy says “No way!” a thousand times over.

9. Reflexively start scanning the floor  with bugged out eyes of incredulity.

10. Inform the gaggle of three year olds of the situation and watch them run around the house screaming VANILLA!! … VANILLA!!… VANILLA!!

11. Scour every dark corner, under the couch, in the cabinets, and under the stove.

12. Negotiate several squabbles over the blue flashlight.

13. Set out little bowls of peanut butter and stop the search in order to regroup.

14. Go to a cafe, grocery shop, grab a slice of pizza.

15. Return home and google “How to Catch a Hamster”.

16. Descend on Romy’s house once again like a SWAT team, armed with information and gusto.

17. Sprinkle flour around peanut butter bowls so that dusty footprints can be tracked to secret hamster hiding place.

18. Enlist a grandma to investigate plausibilty of heating duct explorations.

19. Put cage on the floor with an open door and irresistable, fragrant cat food waiting inside.

20. Hilariously tie long pieces of red yarn to peanuts.

21. Stash these in various locales in hopes that in classic hamster fashion she will carry these to her home and leave a long telltale string of yarn in her  wake.

22. Call it a day.

23. Wake up to see this glorious sign taped to Romy’s door.

Entry filed under: life lessons. Tags: .

ooh doggie, aka: pew elementary empathy

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