and so it begins

May 25, 2010 at 7:56 am 3 comments

This is the last day with dad. If today is anything like the other last days of his other visits it will be filled with laughter and smiles that are tinged by sorrow and dread. We will make the best of it, but unlike the first day of the visit, full of excitement and anticipation, the last day is heavy with knowing what lies ahead.

My father will return to his life that he loves, his beautiful house, his routine walks in the woods, and his rich career, a life that is awesome, aesthetically pleasing and accomplished, but something will be missing. He won’t have granddaughters in his midst and the permanent grin they bring to his face. He also won’t have his daughter to walk beside, to calm his soul by being near.

And I will return to our normal life. We will go grocery shopping, to play group, and to the river, loving our girls, our friends, and this majestic valley we are nestled within. But we won’t have a grandpa in our midst. We won’t have that extra comfort of one more person that loves us with all his considerable might.

It’s great having a dad that loves so much, so willingly. Every father’s day I thank him for how he has been with us, for providing a model to follow. I have thriving adult relationships because he has shown me what it feels like to be loved in a complete way. He has always been a large, powerful figure, smiling achingly in our direction. He pumps his fist in exhilaration when we reach our goals, he grabs his heart in pain when we meet with sorrow. He has always been this way, a current of undying love.

To be near him feels good. It’s really as simple as that.

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a doozy my first “wordless wednesday”

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. carrie  |  May 25, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    how lucky are you—
    wow—-i never had that as a girl but chose a great man as my hubby and what a great dad he is
    thankyou for sharing
    your dad is incredible
    all my love Carrie

    Reply
  • 2. kris laroche  |  May 25, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    i saw him only once, and i miss him already…for you and for all of us because he DOES feel so good to be around.

    Reply
  • 3. 6512 and growing  |  May 26, 2010 at 6:41 am

    How sweet! We are nearing the end of another amazing grandparent visit. How blessed we are!

    Reply

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