just add toga

April 23, 2010 at 9:27 pm Leave a comment

There has been a lot of girl talk around these parts lately. Lots of interesting subjects to pull apart, spread out on the kitchen table, and sift through. All the juicy topics like love, family dynamics, fashion, dogs, hair, more love and more family dynamics.

Nathan, although an honorary woman in terms of conversational interests and emotional abilities, has been busy, coming home late after a combination of work and theater performances, so our dialog hasn’t even been spliced with a male perspective. It’s been all girl all the time. Even the children are girls, with the exception of an occasional appearance from sweet little Elliott, but he’s five and aside from a bit of strutting, tool use, and deep voiced interjections, he doesn’t correct our generalizations of the opposite sex, or temper our views with masculine interpretations.

We’ve been discussing break-ups, looking at what it takes to continue to be friends after a split. We wonder if not caring too much for the person is required in order to switch to platonic, hey-pal, kinds of interactions. We’ve been looking at unrequited love, or more specifically the common desire many women have that the man might forever harbor undying love for the woman, long after she has vacated the relationship. The satisfaction, if it could be called that, when a break-up goes in this direction, instead of the reverse, and how much easier it might be to remain friends if this were the case.

Which caused me to look back on my past and I am startled by the fact that with one exception I am not friends with any of my exes. But that isn’t even the most disturbing factor. What’s more is that, again with one exception, I cannot remember even having strong feelings for those men. It’s as if one day, a switch was turned off, and from that day forward any feelings of romantic love ceased to exist. And any memories of that romantic love disappeared as well. My sister Emily reminded me of one particular ex that I wanted her to meet. She said at the time I referred to him as my “future husband”. I guffawed! I thought she was joking. It simply made no sense that I would say something of that sort because as far as my current perspective goes I never, ever, had feelings of that nature for that person.

What in the world is that about? Why do I have something akin to revulsion about a relationship in which I willingly, happily participated? I am always ready to accept all of the feelings that I experience in the present, why am I shrinking from feelings I felt in the past? It’s weird and I haven’t figured it out.

In any case, our conversations have been meandering down these well trodden but always entertaining paths of love and relationships. And in the meantime, under our noses, the little ladies of our community have been acting out their thoughts on love and relationships. They wind between our legs with dolls and figurines. They assemble Playmobile crowds to witness weddings. They create characters that fight and fall in love and get separated. It seems these are classic themes for young and old alike.

I guess you wouldn’t have to be a woman to enjoy moments like these but somehow, the tone of these days has felt characteristically feminine. Lounging around the kitchen table or sprawled in the sunny grass, with babes at our breasts and between our feet, and love on our tongues, we feel nearly mythological.

Modern day greek goddesses, tea jars, wrinkles, and sunglasses included.

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a yellow dog AND a brown dog poke, poke

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