a yellow dog AND a brown dog

April 22, 2010 at 4:47 pm 1 comment

Two dogs asleep on the living room floor. That can only mean one thing. My sister has arrived!

My heart swells. There is nothing like watching your favorite people interact. Xi and Aunt Emy gathered around the box of earrings discussing the next earring swap-out. Echo cuddled up to Emily’s shoulder, batting her eyelashes, drawing her focus to anything just to maintain her attention. Em in the center of a pile of kids at play group, mediating disputes and talking for tiny figurines. Emily in the kitchen discussing hair and fashion with Kris and Romy. The kind of scenes that put a big smile on my face.

Each time she visits she pretends that she lives here, running downtown for a yoga class, zipping to the library to pick up a book. With her popping in and out, acting like a regular instead of a novelty, it’s so easy to imagine what it would be like if she did live here, heavenly. At the end of the week I will be devastated that the realness of it all has been a mirage, I will cry and cast about for ways to eliminate the geographical distance between us, and I’m sure a post, or two, will be produced out of my sadness. But even though I know about this inevitable end, I’ll still pretend that hearing her footsteps on the stairs is a daily thing. It’s worth it.

If what I yearn for is here then I will appreciate it. There is always an end, to everything, it doesn’t do me any good to post memos around my heart warning me of the short term nature of my good feelings. I’d rather blissfully eat roast vegetables with my sister, looking at her smiling eyes, and laughing, than imagine my grief as her little red car pulls away from the curb.

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not fine just add toga

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. kris  |  April 22, 2010 at 6:25 pm

    i’m with you. those smiling eyes and shining face filled me up today. joy joy joy that emy is here! i want it to be forever too. and i want to book a style consult with her. she is just too fabulous for words in every single way. no surprise though, she is your sister.

    Reply

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