no green guy yet

March 17, 2010 at 7:02 pm 1 comment

Well I ended that last post filled with bravado, a devil-may-care attitude, and an actual plan to go out the very next day and buy that bird.

But I didn’t.

We did go to a store and look at cages and perches and food bowls. But it didn’t feel right. My inner judgmental voice was saying: Buy the used $60 birdcage, grab a few essentials and call it good. But the me of me, the shiny spirit that loves that bird and wants the best for him was saying: No! This doesn’t feel right! This is not what I was dreaming of. So I actually started crying amidst the wooden perches and seed treats. My family was pretty confused.

So we didn’t get the bird and instead drove to the hot springs. Nathan and I analyzed my feelings about money and what the bird means to me, in the biggest sense, while we drove out of town and into the woods. We slipped and slid on the icy path until we found ourselves deep in moose country and soaking in a gravely, slimy, sulphurous pool. (It sounds gross but feels heavenly.) We joined a nice man named Larry who had already found a comfy spot against a rock. Bella entertained him with lengthy conversation while the rest of us did nothing much at all, just stared at the view and moved our legs in wishy swirls.

We even heard a tree crash down in the woods. I’ve never heard that before. A mythical sound.

I’d like to report that I triumphed over my inner demons, manifested riches, told my inner jury to f__ off, and returned with a happy little green guy, but I can’t. It was a beautiful day, yes. A fantastic family adventure day, yes. A relaxing sweet early spring celebration day, yes. But alas, not a bird buying day.

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birds chirping buttface

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Anabel  |  March 18, 2010 at 10:44 am

    Thank you for sharing this story. I’ve been reading and trying to use NVC and last night started crying in the middle of a pizaa place due to some overwhelimg cicrumstances in my life. The old me would have run out of there embarrased and attempting to hide my true feelings. But instead I was liberated. “This is how I feel.” I told my husband. We stayed and I think we made friends with the owner becasue of this. So thanks… thanks for living a life that encourages me to be true too.

    Reply

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