inventory

December 1, 2009 at 5:00 am 2 comments

You know you are a parent when:

*your purse holds:

  • a bulldog sticker
  • 3 plastic fairies
  • a jumbo marble
  • rescue remedy
  • 2 pink socks
  • a wallet
  • a cellphone
  • bandaids
  • plastic dental mirror from pretend doctor kit
  • and a metal gnome

*you’ve developed super sonic hearing and can identify, from within a deep sleep, the first sound your child makes when they wake. Ie: the clunk of the toilet lid, the thump of feet jumping from the top bunk, the slide of clothes drawers opening.

*clean laundry sits rumpled in a GIGANTIC tub in the living room for a minimum of three days before it is folded.

*you think back to how long it’s been since you took a shower and when you come up with the answer: 4 days, you say to yourself not bad!

*you reach for the booger your child is handing you without even thinking.

*for the first time in your life you know at least ten knock knock jokes.

*you flash your breasts seven times a day without a second thought.

*a trip to the bathroom lasts longer than you ever imagined possible, and you didn’t even pee.

*you find yourself toiling, brow furrowed, over a pretend fairy bathtub.

*walking to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you step like a silent warrior, to not wake children or kill yourself on Lego booby traps.

*the majority of your gardening is done after midnight with a headlamp.

*you explain sunrise, sunset, and the rotation of the earth at four in the morning. Often.

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Entry filed under: parenting principles. Tags: , , , , .

babies cruising

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Ivy  |  December 1, 2009 at 8:29 am

    * When you require more coffee/tea in the morning than you could ever have imagined.

    Reply
  • 2. Angela Malson  |  December 5, 2009 at 8:04 pm

    the thump from the bunk beds, the toilet lid slamming, the going 4 days without showering, up at 4 in the morning explaining things, you hit the nail on the head! that has been my week, plus staying up late to get work done since it is the only time of day when kids are not underfoot, and getting up early because they always do, loved this post!

    Reply

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